Constant hunger

OMG!!! My entire blog entry disappeared and then auto-saved while the page was blank! Sorry, I'm venting my frustration right now, especially after crystallizing some inner-thoughts about motivation and where I am personally. Anyway, if you ever feel the desire to run in the rain, just come to Raleigh, I have plenty that I would love to share.

I have reached a few mile stones recently.

I have been existing in a state of constant hunger of late, both literally and figuratively.

Literally, I cannot seem to get enough to eat, ever.

Figuratively, My inner drive is once again awakening. The force that pushes you to become a better person in all aspects of life, to give your best effort today, and each day, and then tells you that tomorrow's performance will be better than the one turned in today; the feeling that whatever barriers or obstacles may come are of no consequence; the belief that nothing can stop you from attaining your goals and dreams.

I have harnessed that inner drive before and excelled. And I have lost it. That drive has been noticeably absent for a number of years whether others had noticed or not. I have looked for it, feeling the pangs of knowing that I was constantly performing far below my abilities, shared with a feeling of wandering with no real direction or focus. Truth be told, that is what pushed me over the tipping point to register for the Death Race. I needed something to focus on, a commitment, direction. And I believe it is working. I can feel the drive growing, pushing me toward my goals, professionally and personally, where I have refocused my life. That is what the Death Race has become for me.

As for my training, I remember in high school, running on the cross-country team (granted I was JV every year, Wrestling was my focus) thinking anything more than a 5k was a monster waiting to snack on my legs/lungs. Recently I have been running anywhere from 5 to 8 miles as training on a regular basis. I think back to my high school perspective and shake my head in disbelief. Disbelief that I didn't suck it up, as well as disbelief that I am now looking at registering for a marathon and a 70.3 tri only to use each to prepare myself for the Death Race!

I've always had a little desire to complete one of each, but I had long since scratched them of as the great white buffalo that would never materialize. However, with the way my training has progressed I see no reason why the once far-fetched dream shouldn't soon come into fruition.

I also did my first rock run yesterday :) 4 miles with 15/15/15 burpees/push-ups/squats each mile on the mile. I don't have a name for my rock yet, I'm not sure if it is a guy or a girl. But it is waiting for me by the entrance to the Crabtree Creek Greenway.

Two a days are a regular occurance in my routine; usually consisting of a CrossFit workout paired with either a run with 15/15/15's or wrestling practice at Dynamic Wrestling.

Today was the first day I turned in the best performance across all classes at CrossFit. I completed 8 Rx rounds of Mary (5 handstand push-ups, 10 pistols, 15 pull-ups) in a 20 minute AMRAP. My scores are going to be the ones to beat from now on.

Looking forward to the tough mudder!